Spoilers below.
Outlander has never been the sort of show to opt for subtlety—or restraint—when it comes to the myriad ways the world mistreats women. So, perhaps, it’s not surprising that Blood of My Blood season 1, episode 8, focuses almost entirely on an examination Ellen must undergo to prove her virginity is intact. Nor should it surprise me that we, the audience, are forced to watch.
But before we get there, we must spend the first half of the episode panicking about the existence of the examination itself. “A Virtuous Woman” opens with the staff of Castle Leoch preparing for Ellen’s test as if it were a religious ritual (which, let’s be honest, it might as well be). The hearth is lit. Ellen’s skin is washed. A table is set with an astonishing array of hooks and scissors and scalpels and speculums, as if Ellen were about to enter intensive surgery rather than have her hymen inspected by a man who probably couldn’t identify the vulva on a diagram. (“What in God’s name is this contraption?” asks Dougal, as he picks up the speculum. A question that, centuries later, men will still be asking!) Disgusted, Colum demands the “inspection” be done manually rather than with any of these “barbaric” “implements.” I truly do not understand how a s0-called “manual” inspection is any more dignified, but neither do I think Colum understands the first thing about a woman’s body. Or about his sister, in general.
Colum is deeply concerned about the outcome of this test, not so much because the results might determine whether his sister lives or dies, but because it threatens the MacKenzies’ unsteady alliance with the Grants. Colum and Dougal both know that Ellen, “with her silver tongue,” could be hiding something. Maybe she does have a lover. Ned, for his part, insists that he kept a close eye on Ellen during Beltane, apart from when she was under Jocasta’s supervision. (Of course, we know that’s exactly when Ellen arranged for her rendezvous with Brian.) Ned even tries to assuage his doubts by digging up dirt from Ms. Fitz, who would never even think to betray Ellen’s confidence. “Shame on all of you for putting her through such an ordeal,” she tells him. Someone had to say it!
In her chambers, Ellen gulps down water in an attempt to hydrate. As part of the examination, she’ll be asked to “hold her water,” i.e. her urine, for a predetermined amount of time, and then when she finally relieves herself—in front of everyone, including her brothers and the man she’s intended to marry—the urine will be inspected to determine if it’s clear. Transparent pee, apparently, is one of the hallmarks of a “virtuous” woman. Who knew!
Speaking of water: Over at Leathers, Simon is leaving for a trip to Aberdeen, where he hopes to find some 18th-century Viagra in the form of the restorative “spa” waters there. His time away might finally offer Julia the chance to escape and find Castle Grant, where she now knows Henry is serving as the clan’s bladier. But, instead, she uses Simon’s absence to aid Brian, who refuses to sit still while the love of his life—his wife, mind you!—is subjected to such humiliation within Leoch. Brian has resolved to rescue Ellen, knowing all too well that he’s the reason she’s no longer a virgin. As he tells his father, the lovebirds were handfasted, they did no wrong, and also Brian cares for Ellen. Simon chooses to pretend he heard none of this and rides off to Aberdeen to, apparently, bathe his junk in the Fountain of Youth.
Davina tries to stop her son from his all-but-certain suicide mission. He can’t just go marching into Leoch, proclaiming himself as the heathen who deflowered Ellen MacKenzie! But Julia has a plan. In the kitchens at Leathers, she stirs up a concoction for Ellen to apply that will tighten the skin, thus making it appear as though her hymen is still intact. It’s a “recipe” Julia picked up from the Trotula, a medieval compendium-slash-manual for women’s health, which references the numerous ways women have sought to endure virginity tests over the centuries. Never mind that such virginity tests were—and, yes, still are—deeply unreliable. Women knew that; men didn’t care. And so the women would take matters into their own hands, as Julia does now. She then offers to ferry the mixture to Ellen herself, using the secret passageway the eldest MacKenzie showed Julia the last time she was in Leoch. Brian doesn’t like the idea of Julia endangering herself on his behalf, particularly now that she has baby William to look after. But he can’t argue that Julia’s plan is better than his own. And Davina, bless her, agrees to guard William with her life while his mother is gone. (I hope that’s not some terrible bit of foreshadowing!)
Brian and Julia gallop to Leoch, where Julia stuffs Brian in the cellar to hide while she scurries up to Ellen’s chambers. There, Julia, Ellen, and Ms. Fitz apply the concoction so that Ellen might trick the priest inspecting her.
Downstairs, Malcolm frets over the fact that Ellen might think he’s a bad guy for making her prove her virginity in front of…well, almost every major male character on this show. He likes Ellen. A lot. He knows she is pure of heart, spirit, and body. He blames Simon for “casting stones upon [her] reputation.” In fact, Malcolm is only overseeing this test because his father, Isaac, demands it. So he slips away to find Ellen outside her bedroom, where he tells her that a) he’s sorry, but also b) there’s really nothing he can do about it. Oh, well! His dad sucks! Everyone’s dad in this show sucks! (Except Claire and William’s, of course. Poor Henry just has a lot going on these days.)
At last, the time for the exam arrives. I needn’t go into the details—“A Virtuous Woman” makes sure to do that for me—but Ellen endures the trial with her head held high. She “holds her water,” and when she finally is allowed to pee in a bowl, the urine runs clear. Only a few tears escape down her cheeks as she is forced to open her legs for the priest, in front of her brothers, Ned, Malcolm, Henry, Arch Bug…There’s truly a whole party of dudes gathered to watch this humiliation. It’s unclear to me why they all need to be there, but it certainly makes for a spectacle. Most of the men—the ones we’re supposed to view as heroic, anyway—make a show out of grimacing, turning aside to converse, or casting their eyes away. But none of them actually do anything, and it’s hard to imagine Ellen will be quick to forgive them for it.
When she is deemed “intact,” she shoots her brothers a look of brazen defiance. All her thankfulness is reserved, rightfully, for Julia, to whom she says she’ll be “eternally indebted.” (Hmm. Further foreshadowing?!)
Julia is happy enough with this outcome, but her spirits are lifted exponentially when she inadvertently encounters Henry in her exit through the halls of Leoch. She calls his name and he turns to see her, his face going slack with shock, confusion, and yearning. Beckoning him into a side chamber, Julia and Henry finally have their long-awaited reunion—and it is, of course, sealed with a kiss. “Hope springs eternal,” Julia tells her husband, and Henry knows for sure that his “hope” has found him again.
Of course, Brian has to interrupt their reverie to determine that “all is well” with Ellen, and in the process he’s introduced to Henry for the first time. We love a Fraser-Beauchamp family meeting! But when Arch Bug’s voice echoes across the stones, Julia demands that they separate. It isn’t safe for her and Henry to be together, not here. They’ll find each other again, she promises. She and Brian escape back through the secret passageway—where they’re confronted by Ms. Fitz, who warns Brian to “stay away” from Ellen—as Henry returns to the Grants, smiling in a way he hasn’t since he first slipped through the stones of Craigh na Dun.
Still, there’s another problem. Henry has sought to ally himself as closely as possible with Malcolm thus far, hoping that the son might do what his father refuses: set Henry free. But as Malcolm and Henry make their way back to the Grants’ carriage, the former informs the latter how grateful he is for the bladier’s efforts. “I hope to keep you in service for many years to come,” Malcolm says fondly. Yikes. That is not good news for Mr. Beauchamp.
When, moments later, Henry receives a letter that Isaac Grant has died, he realizes that Malcolm will soon become laird—and Henry himself will be no less free than when he first entered the family’s services.
